What is Important in Making Life or Career Decisions?

Let’s go beyond, is the decision right or wrong (for me), or there is only one answer.  We need to look at an action oriented process that takes in the many facets of our lives.  We need to look at our interests, desires, values, identity, preferences, experiences, responsibilities and goals for our lives.  Our dislikes are important also.  Questions of meaning and purpose may need to be considered.  We want to look at patterns not pinpoint a single possibility.  This is about our whole life and we want to look at all that is part of us together. 

Tools like the Pillars of a Balance Life, Wheel of Life or the Circle of Human Needs are ways to look at the many faces of your life. Where are you currently at – professionally (career), physically, philosophically (spiritually), financially, socially, emotionally, with regard to relationships, play (fun), creativity, learning (growth), security, and fulfillment?  Rate each area on a scale of 1 to 10 with 10 being your ideal experience.  How would you like to change the balance of the wheel?  What needs to be the current focus for where you are at on you life journey? 

Now look at the roles you are in, day in and day out: student, sibling, child, parent, worker, co-worker, supervisor, partner, friend, teacher, business owner, artist, etc.  How much time do you spend each day in each role?  What are the activities that you are doing in each of these roles?  Is that how you want to spend your time? Which activities would you like to change? What role, at this moment in life, is the one you would like to blossom? How can you shift the activities, spend the time where you want to be, meet your desires and your responsibilities (and let others meet their responsibilities)? 

With what you know now about yourself and the world around you what is a description of your ideal life?  Where do you see yourself living and working?  Describe the home and work space in detail physically and what you are doing?  Who are you with?  What does it feel like? What are you enjoying, accomplishing? What is important that surrounds you?  This ideal needs to be described in detail and with feeling.  Now to make that ideal real what would have to happen, be obtained right before?  Work yourself backwards of what is just before each step to point of what you could or need to do today to move toward that ideal.  Be sure to translate these steps to a timeline.  Monitor your progress.  Ask for help. Discover alternatives for accomplishing each step.  Bring some one with you on the adventure – keep people you can help and that can help you. 

Life is a journey with many adventures.  You can map it all out and you can explore side trips to learn or for fun.  Know there are always options and it is your decision. 

Dragons and Treasures – Discover Yours

                                                                                                                                                                      
What are your dragons (fears, rejections, denials)?  What traps do they set?  What treasures do they have for you to experience?  Dragons of the east and west traditions are fearsome, destructive, wise, magical.  The Transforming Dragons Deck by Sonia Café has sixty four different dragons with their traps and their treasures.  Each of us has our own dragons hidden within.  We have feelings, beliefs, experiences we hide, bury, reject, avoid or ignore.  We do not want to see ourselves with those characteristics.  Or, we decide it is not our fault we are that way.  It is the result of so and so, the environment we were brought up in or live in, or…..  So we deny that part of our self that we and/or others do not like.  To transform the dragon and to receive the gifts the dragon guards we first must gain awareness of our selves.  The inner journey has bright spots and dark spots.  The dragon guards a gate, an opening, with the treasure out of sight. Knowing what the dragon represents you can gain the knowledge of what the treasure offers.  Transforming the dragon can take many forms – observing, fighting, pacifying, dancing, accepting – after all it is part of us. 

Let’s take a look at a dragon.  The names (and if you saw the pictures) are from the child – gibberish names and fun, imaginative pictures.  The dragon we are looking at is Jarv. Jarv represents Pressure. 
Sonia Café brief description is:  The dragon is a specialist in “pushing his own way” to make things happen oppressively. He will do anything he can to anticipate deadlines, hasten the cycles, and alter the natural rhythm of things.  Jarv’s most refined form of pressure has vampiric characteristics because he loves to steal the freshness and the novelty of anything that has been born. He only gives a break in pressure after having caused some kind of explosion.  
His favorite Affirmation: “The more difficult, the more complicated, the more pressure there is, the better!” 
Dragonic Traps: -Pressing for stress; - Stressing to make sickness; - Exploding or imploding from pressure. 
The Treasure:  - You can have an extraordinary capacity for keeping calm in any kind of situation.   – You can have an amazing ability to focus attention on doing now what is humanly possible. – You can learn to do one thing at a time, everything in the right time, with the best quality.
Transforming Jarv --- Allow things to come to birth organically, in the right time, in the rhythms of the Soul. 

I take a project – like a bull by its horns.  I will bull doze ahead.  I will make checklists and contacts.  I set time tables.  I am impatient.  I want the results yesterday, when it is a project of my own.  I work with others for joint projects, but still I am impatient when others do not keep pace.  My own projects can become oppressive and I will implode.  Many times with self destruction of --- I am not worthy, it does not matter any way, why try so hard- won’t accomplish it any how, or …..  So then comes the time to breathe.  Deep breaths in and out.  Clear the head and the heart.  Take the project step by step.  Trust in your ability, your connection, and your core desire. Follow through. Stay clear. Be honest with yourself and with others. Be open to the timing and the process.  Experience the journey with appreciation.  Know yourself.  Realize change is a consistent variable and flow with it.  Take your next step with open mind and an open heart.  Live your dream. 


We can explore our dragon(s) – lizards of the earth, swimmers of the sea, greatness flying in the air, and masters of fire.    

A Journal of Mandalas

First – a Journal – a bridge into first our own humanity, and then our own spirituality. The road stretches our before us, and our ultimate task is the journey. …an art form in words. 

Second – a Mandala – a circle art using a variety of mediums through the ages, a universal activity, self-integrating ritual. Healing Mandalas are created as an integrative art form assisting individuals in their search for the inner self. 

I have written in a journal for years to ask myself questions, trying to find answers, ranting and raving for whatever is happening at the moment, saying thank you for all things in my life, jumping for joy because of that little secret.  There are times I am without words and still have questions.  Pictures – visual images is our first language.  Thus to connect with our inner knowledge can be quite an experience in the form of pictures.  Utilizing the circle art of the Mandala is setting the experience in a safe and sacred environment. I have a scrap book (the journal) of my Mandalas.  However, because they are important to me and colorful art I have also framed several of them and have them on display for me to see regularly (and sometimes in special places like my therapy office for others to reflect upon).  Each Mandala has a date and the question posed with the picture – the visual art as the answer.  Sometimes I can translate into words, other times the visual is very much the answer with no words. 

The method I used is based on Judith Cornell’s technique of drawing with a white pencil on black paper creating a sense of light emanating from the paper.  I draw a circle as big as the paper will hold (so how big the circle is depends on the size of the black piece of paper).  Then I think about: what is it that is pertinent at the moment; what am I struggling with; what is unknown mystery I want a glimpse of; what is that elusive feeling I am experiencing connected to – or some other aspect.  I develop the question I want to pose.  I breathe deeply several times, close my eyes, empty my mind and let the picture begin to come to mind.  You note I said begin to come to mind.  For some the picture comes in clear and vivid with all details right off the bat; for others there is a blurry outline, a fuzzy image.  Start the drawing with the white pencil on the black paper within the white lined circle.  The surprise is as you begin to draw the image clarifies and more details come.  You have the basic drawing with shading in white.  Now take a moment of quiet and see it in Technicolor!  Add the colors with various shades to your Mandala.  Take your time or color with a furry.  See your living visual answer in front of you.  Words are not necessary.  Words may come and can be noted on the back of the drawing also.  The visual result is the answer and connects self to Self.  Enjoy!

Emotional Ruts and Flower Essences

I’ve got a feeling.  That’s a line of a chorus of a song that continues – I’ve got a feeling before the day ends I’ll learn a new song and make a new friend. 

If every day was like that day, I could handle the rut.  However, sometimes I am caught up in anger or grief or self-loathing or self-doubt or…….  And it does not seem anything I do can get me out of the rut.  Many times I don’t even recognize I’m in a rut.  I’m just making it through the day. I’m uncomfortable, dissatisfied, disgusted with myself, depressed, frustrated – whatever and no energy to do anything about it.

I know I don’t want to continue feeling whatever I am feeling.  After all it is not fun.  So what to do? 

The first step is to figure out what I am feeling.  We are kind of like a working paint palate with all the colors on the palate and then different blends for the current experience.  We need to recognize the dominant color at this moment – the dominant feeling.

 Let’s say it’s anger.  I am pissed off at the world.  It doesn’t matter who says what or does what, it makes be angry and I spout off at them.  I need to be a little more definitive about my anger.  Where is the anger coming from?  Well maybe that is too much work and I don’t want to go there.  What are the characteristics of my anger?  Is the anger repressed? Is it just because I’m emotionally upset about a specific incident? Had it been around for a long time and isn’t even relevant to today?  Am I hypersensitive? Am I fearful of feeling anger? Does it usually come out in verbal abuse? 

The characteristic of the anger and the connection it has to the blend of feelings I am experiencing leads to the identification of a specific Flower Essence that can assist with the release of the anger.  It is a release from being stuck in the anger.  The anger can have an appropriate reference point and if I am not stuck in it then I will experience the anger, respond to the stimulus that initiated the anger (know what pissed me off) and can move on – make a conscious choice of how to respond to what sparked my anger. 

Flower Essences are subtle liquid extracts prepared from a sun infusion of flowers at their peak bloom in water.  They function from an energetic perspective versus a chemical perspective.  Generally they are taken in oral form.  They address issues of emotional well-being, soul development, and mind-body health. 

Flower Essences help dislodge the rubbish that is damning up the flow.  With the release of the rubbish, emotions can be experienced as a flow, moving on.  Thus, we are prepared for the next experience of the moment – joy, sadness, delight, sorrow, pleasure, anger, whatever it may be.  Bringing us to a point of balance and health.  It is a point, not a status, as life continues to move with a mirage of experiences and inputs.  We want to stay in motion to experience balance points more frequently.

Pick a Card, Any Card

The tarot is a collection of 78 pictures presented in the form of a deck of cards. It is divided into three sections: the Major Arcana, The Minor Arcana, and the Court Cards…. The tarot is a picture compilation of universal imagery and symbology. It is a collection of symbols that crosses all boundaries of culture, time and space. … Another factor about the tarot is that the Minor Arcana and Court Cards are basically the same as the modern deck of regular playing cards…. It is now generally accepted that both the tarot and playing cards, each in their own fashion, are representations of archetypes…. The Court cards are pictures of the sixteen different personality types (like the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator). …… from Tarot Dictionary and Compendium by Jana Riley

So pick a card ….As the person picking a card – a usual starting point is to pick a court card – King, Queen, Prince/Princess (Jack). This is a card to represent the individual – the point of view for the rest of the story – reading.

I picked the card for the significator – to represent me as I tell this story. There are many kinds of tarot decks and books. I have chosen the Mother Peace deck by Vicki Noble. The card I drew as I shuffled the Court Cards is Priestess (Queen) of Swords.

…..The Priestesses… represent administrative abilities, a sense of the sacred, and the authoritative presence of a Mother. In their own homes, mothers are Queens and Priestesses in their work. They rule from the heart. …..

The Priestess of Swords (Queen of Spades) represents the mind at work, a channeling of wisdom. Her familiar is the Snowy Owl. ……Representing the critical mind, she is at once detached and stern, reasonable, clear-headed. …She is now taking time out to think and reflect, to belong, to herself alone (a widow or separated woman). ……. She represents astrology and intuitive knowledge. On another level, she represents science – systemized knowledge……..The Priestess of Swords might be a writer; she is certainly a thinker. She channels thought, letting it flow through her like water or light. ……. The owl can be seen as her thought taking flight…… The nocturnal owl suggests the wisdom of the dream world and the collective unconscious……. The owl symbolized healing power as well as the ability to fight for one’s life when necessary……. The Priestess of Swords is an austere personality, uncompromising and somewhat formidable. She may represent a strict teacher or older woman role-model, a disciplinarian or authority figure of some kind. But ….. the pink color…. speaks of the subtle warmth of her heart, …. Distant from the emotions, she is not cut off but simply reserved….. release of ideas into form, the opening out of the mind from narrow interests to broader, more inclusive concerns. She has a quiet psychic sense that allows her to know the thoughts of everyone around her, even on a global level. Therefore she is able to imagine solutions to world problems…. From Mother Peace by Vicki Noble

A key is that we each have a part of all the personality types and archetypes within us. There are dominant types for each of us, just like being dominantly left or right handed.

As I reflect on this card – this synopsis of a personality type – what does it say about past and present actions, stories of me, and my life? Let’s take a look.

When I worked for Alternative Youth Adventures (an outdoor therapeutic program for teens) I would go into the field – hike in a few miles, change into a costume as a Swami or a Wizard and then enter the group. Needless to say with costume, the initial response by the teens was ‘who is that crazy old woman?’ I had there attention. They were focused on me. We would set in a circle and I would pass around the tarot deck and ask them to pick a card – either looking at the cards or pick one blindly – their choice. We used all 78 cards thus the dynamics represented were more than the personality types. It included the practical applications of the traits in the number cards and global characteristics of the Major Arcana. We looked at the cards from the question – ‘What role do you have in this group?’ First each youth described what they saw in the card, what they liked or disliked about the picture on the card. Then we read excerpts from the descriptions of the card by various authors. Next we discussed as a group how that matched what each individual saw about that particular youth. This created different insights, confirmations, questions, and made them think about their role and interactions with each other. The experience was lots of fun and very productive.

The Priestess/Queen of Swords represents healing – fighting for life as necessary. My story includes years as a counselor and a Jin Shin Acupressurist. I have helped many people with Pain Management. I teach individuals tools to use to manage their pain versus having the pain manage them. We looked at physical, emotional and spiritual healing. We identified what worked for them and set up a plan for them to implement to live their lives to the fullest even with pain, illness, or disability. We integrated allopathic and alternative medicine to create the best alternative for each individual. This meant understanding who each individual is and their dominant characteristics and needs. We matched their “card”.

Healing has been a key focus within my story. I organized and established the Academy of Healing Arts with a group of people. We collaborated on our expertise to make the school happen. It primarily had a program for massage therapist and then community classes in the healing arts. Also, I helped establish a Whole Life Network Healing Arts Health Fair. The purpose was to expand people’s awareness so that they could make choices for their lives.

A thinker – ideas flowing through my mind, is reflected in the card. I see problems, situations, and people and develop solutions, alternatives. The purpose is to develop individuals’ and groups’ potential.

I am a separated woman – having experienced a divorce – the loss of the family unit – alone. Yes, I have family, two children, 6 siblings (one gone, one unknown), mother and extended family, yet alone.

I experience many emotions daily. I express the emotions less frequently. In my pursuit of helping people – I remain detached, but caring. I need to give individuals tools and choices to allow them to make things happen in their own life.

Intuitive knowledge for me is part of the way I interact with people and keying into factors to increase their awareness. It is part of how I make decisions.

Science is the facts from searching the unknown. I pursued a micro-biology degree. I have the privilege of coaching several youth science teams – Invent America, Odyssey of the Mind, Science fairs, and studies of the research of the healing arts.

Science is the known that is defined. Magic is the mystery of the unknown that is only understood intuitively until the broadened knowledge becomes known.

Pick a card, any card. As we reflect on the card we have drawn and it’s characteristics we reflect on who we are, where we have been and who we can become. Picking a card from the tarot or a deck of playing cards is a process in intuitive thinking, self-exploration, a discovery and a development of self. And it is just plain fun playing scientist with the unknown being you!

Strut Your Stuff - The Basic Premise

STRUT YOUR STUFF; YOU ARE A GENIUS.

What is your Genius?
We are looking at the core of your potential and resources; the unique special quality that is you. Yes, we are looking at what makes you different. This includes: different intelligences (music, language, visual, body, logic, social, self, naturalist, and existential), talents, strengths, passions, abilities, desires and curiosity. We are looking at what you can do and who you are.

Why Bother?
Knowing yourself and expressing yourself is important part of your life’s journey – experiences. The unique gifts you have contribute to your development and to the world around you. Lie a snowflake you are a one time happening. To strut your stuff is a responsibility to you and the world.


YOU ARE A GENIUS AND DON’T KNOW IT!

Each of us is unique and special. We have things we can do well; things we are very interested in; things that have caught your attention; and things you dream of. These are all indicators of your genius.

Interest tests are a way to find a hint at your job interests. Looking back at things you really enjoyed as a child hint at what is special for you. People you admire, see as mentors or heroes also give you a clue of your genius.

Once you identify the various things that make up your genius then you can pursue them, develop them, and enjoy yourself.

Your genius is a key aspect of yourself to recognize, acknowledge, and utilize. The discovery is an inner journey. Your genes and inborn talents are a foundation. Your family, your community, your culture contribute to developing your genius. Expression of your genius is also related to timing, places, and experiences. Some of these just are, and some of theses you can effect.

Find your genius. Acknowledge your genius. Strut your stuff.


YOU’RE A GENIUS AND WON’T SHOW IT!

Being special make you different. We know we are different, but belonging is part o four human nature. Thus we want to minimize or hide our differences. We have gifts, talents, unique abilities that we enjoy. We can pursue out genius for personal expression or share with others.

To display our genius means we are exposed to praise, ridicule, rejection, or indifference. We like and respond to the praise and recognition. We shout for joy. We beam. We strut our stuff. The challenge is with even one time of ridicule or rejection we can decide to hide. The fear of experiencing the ridicule or rejection again can become very strong even after the initial situation. As a result we experience self doubt. We will also utilize various masks – some for strength – some for hiding. It is easy to hide behind a mask, in a role that is accepted. You can do it well, fit in, be recognized and still minimize your genius or avoid expressing your genius.

Other reasons for not expressing your genius is not wanting to be taken advantage of; the display of your genius is considered to be a personal express for self only; not being appreciated; not taken seriously; not knowing how; and demands of life.


WHAT DO YOU DO WITH YOUR GENIUS?

A beginning place of what to do with your genius is to enjoy it yourself, practice, develop, explore, and play. Another consideration is do you want to have a private or public use of your genius. Keep in mind your genius will sneak in all kinds of places on a daily basis without a deliberate plan – because it is a core part of you. Another factor is contribution to your community, to others ---- considering your genius comes with a responsibility.

Do you want to display/utilize your gift vocationally or avocationally? What ways can you put your various talent, preferences together to contribute in the manner you desire? We can look at different patterns of your life, what you enjoy, what your genius/talents are and then look at occupational and industry patterns to create your vocation. You can tap into the same process for an avocation or pure personal pleasure.


A GENIUS AT WORK AND PLAY!

It is an act of genius to balance all the responsibilities and roles in life. It is also a balancing act to comfortably use, display your genius at work or in play.

Your genius at work as a developed specialty can let you pursue it to your hearts content basically alone or with at team. You can have a focus that does not require balancing lots of roles or interactions.

Your various talents can create the opportunity where you are juggling many activities, tasks, roles and /or interactions. You can benefit from the development of personal management skills – managing your time; setting priorities; setting (with awareness) your preferences (yes, asking what you Want to do is important too); and managing expectations (yours and others).

Being sure to play is key to your balancing act. It may be with strutting your stuff at work -- that you are playing at work.

Having a light hearted free expression – experience of your genius is also important. Knowing how to play with your genius benefits you in all your life roles; having that opportunity as the saying goes “to let your hair hang down”. Playing for playing’s sake alone – to feel free – like soaring – no constraints. (PS It is not frivolous).

We look at our roles and responsibilities – the tasks and time involved for each. Then decide what priorities we have for our roles and which ones we desire to develop. Next we figure out the changes to our time commitments and activities to make the shift happen to our desired roles. Balancing the work, the play and being our special genius self!


A GENIUS ON DISPLAY!

Celebrating your genius can be done in many ways, many forms and many places. Your home or your room is your special place or your own space. Make the space your very own - art, books, music, collections, clothing, furniture, décor – the materials of your genius. The space can be indoors or outdoors.

You can celebrate through your work, your connection in the community, in your play, the places you visit, the things you make, write, create – an expression of your heart.

You can celebrate through discovering, exploring, further experiencing of your desires and wishes. Taking others along for the journey is another way to celebrate. Making a difference or quietly knowing are a celebration. Strut your Stuff. Celebrate!

Strut Your Stuff! You Are a Genius!

Play with Words…… Play with feelings…..

GENIUS – intelligent, intellect, smart, brainy, thinker, natural, brilliant, resourceful, talent, sage, savant, wise, knowledgeable, inventive, creative, sensible, logical, rational, skilled, trained, astute, brainiac, master, virtuoso, talent, bright, clever, scholarly

Then there are: smart aleck, too big for your britches, snooty, dense, ace, crackerjack, fool, clown, highbrow, egghead, show-off, wiseacre, know-it-all, hotshot, wise guy

Mixed messages – probably have happened over time. The mixed messages are ones you give yourself and that you receive from others. These messages, these words, create emotional responses – yeah, you react. The reactions are emotional and physical. You can feel on top of the world and comfortable. You can feel hurt and troubled. You can be pleased with the recognition and acknowledgement of your skills and abilities. You can want to hide, withdraw, and fit in. You get attention. You are avoided. You speak freely with enthusiasm. Your conversation is very tempered. You stand out and use your skills. You minimize your abilities. Or then there is the dynamic of being silly and you should be serious --- or is it lighten-up. The expectations and demands are made. Or you are ignored and not accepted. You can then question yourself, your value, your worth, your ability and become unsure. You strive to protect yourself – downplay your talents, your brilliance, or become arrogant.

Where is the balance? Where is the authentic you? Finding the right fit for you is an important part of showing your genius. Your world is not an ideal world. Your experiences will vary with time, place, people and you of the moment. Knowing your abilities, talents, gifts, desires, dreams is the starting point. Demonstrating and developing them, yes, that is a responsibility – to you – and to the world. Showing your genius is also a pleasure. Showing takes practice. Practice brings greater understanding, development, confidence, balance, and comfort. It is not a road without struggles or potholes. Any achievement has challenges and requires figuring out “how to” meet those challenges. And remember not to do it alone – that’s the village coming into the picture. Strut your stuff. You are a genius.