Disconnect

I started the draft of this post with traveling through what has been my experiences and gaining greater awareness of where the disconnect feeling comes from. Multiple experiences of disconnect – military dependent life of frequent move; being advanced throughout the school years resulting in peer rejection; being the oldest of seven; difficulty with being accepted by peers at work ( my perspective and thus my withdrawal); frustrations in work settings and easily moving on to new options; marriage with an experience of disconnect; developing disconnects from family “responsibilities” thus affecting relationships; to name a few.

So questions that go through my mind are: Why do I feel disconnected? Why do I set up and
maintain disconnection? What do I gain and loose from being disconnected?

The disconnect feeling comes from feeling different, not being understood, not fitting in. Duhhhhh so what’s new? That is a common experience. The feeling different has to do with the way my mind works, how I see things, how I put information together. It is frustrating with others not getting it. I quickly realize and acknowledge my mind works differently and need to be open to how others’ minds work as part of the experience.

The disconnect comes from fear – fear of being rejected and not belonging. Being alone is done with ease – not easily. Experiences repeated as I get excited and share something I am exuberant about – people respond alright – they become quiet, start up side conversations, at times laugh, but further conversation is limited. And yes I do become highly excitable like a child. I want to jump and run and shout. Okay that might scare some people. So instead I am quiet, withdrawn, and carefully join in the chit chat. Or I fear monopolizing the conversation and others time. Yes, at times they are willing to listen and then I become self-conscious and I am out of line being the center of attention and not including others or responding to their needs.

Even with disconnect I can share personal feelings and experiences. I can do this with feeling but without the invested connection. Thus I can participate in the connection of relationships with a safety disconnect in place. Investing further in a connection with out the safety mechanism leaves me more vulnerable. I do feel. I have strong feelings and to maintain on a day in and day out basis they need to be kept safely put away. I recognize my highs and lows. I recognize my attraction to friends. I do not want to interfere with their other connections. The withholding creates a dam and thus I am careful when I do begin to share with a listening audience, because it can become a flood.

Being a lone is not a problem. I have lots of ideas, projects, activities to do, explore, connect with. I like doing a variety of things. I like to do new things. If I have done it once I am ready to move onto something else. This also is a part of the disconnect – not wanting to do the same thing repeatedly creates a difficulty in connecting with others. I enjoy being productive (my perspective), accomplishing things (even little ones – keeping my hands busy), yet I enjoy doing things at my own pace and leaving something and coming back to it. Yes my home is my castle in the sense of a safe place and comfort.

I acknowledge my connections. I support my connections. I do such with safety for myself and in ways as not to interfere with others and their connections. Then comes the question of inputting the necessary energy to develop and maintain relationships – especially new ones. Value on return comes into question and the fear again of rejection or no return. Thus, the ease and comfort of being alone.

Question then arises – what do I want relative to connections? As with anything, what am I willing to invest for a return? What am I willing to risk for a return? What am I willing to change? What action am I willing to take? What effort am I willing to put forth? The result – connection, another experience of the joys of life (and the frustrations) are part of the discovery – of life’s journey and me. So the questions and the wide eyed experiences continue!

Strut Your Stuff!!!

Strut Your Stuff.
You're a GENIUS and don't know it!

You have heard the saying more than once -- you are a unique individual. "oh, yeah, no doubt about it. I am different." We spend lots of time and effort to blend in or at least not stand out. We may or may not know what makes us different. Being unique and different is genius - genuine.

That difference has many facets. Yes like the cliche goes - a diamond in the rough or is it a lump of coal? (PS Both are of great value, millions) Knowing which the diamond or the coal, let's us know how to strut our stuff!

So how do you figure out the difference? Beyond just being weird or sticking out, how do you identify your genius and its utility? How do you let yourself and everyone else know your value in millions?

You can start with digging. After all, we are looking for diamonds and/or coal. Yes, you might get a little dirty (you will not like or be able to use everything you dig up). You are goint to have to work at it. It is not on the surface. You may find other treasures (useful items) while you are digging.

Shall we ------ To dig, it will work better, be more fun, if we use some tools (a shovel, a backhoe, a pick, a bulldozer, etc. ). Try these tools on for size.

1. Write as many of the funniest things you have done, experienced, saw. Those things that you laughed and laughed about; those that were so funnily embarrassing; those things that were so much fun. Now you need to write down 3 to 99. Only take about 7 1/2 minutes. You can add to the list at any time, later.

2. Take a piece of paper, draw a big circle that fills the piece of paper. Now be quiet for a moment - that means the mind too, cut the chatter. Ask the question, What is my genius? Now without any thinking begin drawing within the circle - lines, circles, designs, pictures, what ever you see while the mind is quiet. Then color it - lots of color.

3. Now for the next 2 minutes write as many words that describes you - you have thought/said about yourself; others have said, shouted, whispered about you; that you would like to describe you. Write fast now, no screening in or out, write, write, write.

So did you dig deep enough to find any coal or diamonds? Probably not. Maybe we just removed a couple of shovels of dirt. However, did you uncover something you can use? Did you find a rock or a stick you can use as a brace to be able to dig deeper? Did you find something that sparkles, that gives you idea what you might find if you dig deeper? What kind of pattern began to appear? What does the pattern tell you on how to proceed? The digging has just begun. We are going to need some additional tools to be safe and to push on with the discovery of our millions.

Jin Shin Fingerholds

Jin Shin Fingerholds

Are you looking for some relief???? From stress, frustration, pain or ………….??????

Let me describe a Jin Shin method to remove tensions and help with better well being.

Jin Shin is: a body energy balancing art. It’s based on energy as the primary life force. It involves placing the fingertips on points on the body to keep the body’s natural energy flow open and circulating. The theory is that everyday tension and stress can block and disrupt that energy flow, putting the body out of balance and eventually causing illness. By reconnecting the energy locks, or points along the energy pathways, the flow or well-being of the body is restored. It’s not a cure all but more of a wellness mode. It doesn’t heal, but puts your energy flow in balance so your body can do the healing.

The basic fingerholds involve: a self administration of jump starting the energy flows through the fingers. Gently hold your right thumb –hold it in any position. “Listen” (wait for a feeling) for a tingling, a warmth, pulse (like a blood pulse, heart beat). A gentle rhythmic pulsation in the finger indicates that the energy flow has been restored. It can take 2-20 minutes for the pulsation to come. If you get impatient hold for at least two minutes and then go on to the next finger. The body knows how to complete the jump start. To complete the tune-up hold each finger on each hand.

The finger holds release specific attitudes and physical symptoms. The fingers open the energy pathways in the entire body. The thumb releases worry and stomach aches. A baby naturally sucks its thumb when worried. The index finger releases fear and muscle related problems like back aches. The index finger is used to point at others and create intimidation. The middle finger releases anger and eye and vision problems. Ever hear the cliché “I’m so angry I can’t see straight”. The ring finger releases sadness, grief, and breathing problems. The ring finger with a ring – a circle of love – overcomes sadness; so much in love you hold your breath. The little finger releases pretense and nerve problems. It is the little finger the heart system flows through – holding the little fingers can decrease the effects of heart problems. Hold each finger on each hand to balance out emotions and actions, caring and thinking, balance of opposites.

An exercise just like walking or stretching to reduce stress, bring balance. The finger holds can easily be done every day – morning to energize, night time to relax for sleep. The finger holds can be done at the stop light or when you are at the doctor’s office waiting so by the time you see the doctor the symptoms has diminished. Take the time and take another step toward health and well being.

Hey, do you know Merlin?

Hey, do you know Merlin?
Or is Yoda, Q, or Dumbledorf more familiar?

Merlin is my hero - my mentor. Merlin is a scientist - observing nature; is a teacher - sharing his observations; is a magician - creating mystery.

Merlin stimulates imagination and playfulness in discovery of the world around us and within. We learn about what we can see, touch, hear, taste, smell and feel. We also experience the unexplainable, the unknown. We try thing on for size. We get dirty. We make a mess. We find treasures. We fall on our butt. We get hurt. We sit and pout. We give up. We cry. We get mad. We fight. We help. We get up. We take tiny steps. We ride fast on the bicycle. We swing as high as the swing will go. We laugh. We sing. We mix the known and the unknown. and we discover the magic.

Another Encounter with Merlin

Merlin is a Druid. He gathers knowledge through observing, listening, and trying things. He searches for answers to the question Why? He analyzes problems to discover solutions - the how to.

Merlin has a child like wonder of the world. He sees each moment as an opportunity to discover something new. He contemplates on the meaning of life and in life. He enjoys the patterns and beauty around him. He recognizes the ugliness and the pain. He experience reality and the mystery. He knows values, beliefs and fears. He doe not have to have all the answers, be he knows where and how to find them. Merlin is a magician.