Emotional Ruts and Flower Essences

I’ve got a feeling.  That’s a line of a chorus of a song that continues – I’ve got a feeling before the day ends I’ll learn a new song and make a new friend. 

If every day was like that day, I could handle the rut.  However, sometimes I am caught up in anger or grief or self-loathing or self-doubt or…….  And it does not seem anything I do can get me out of the rut.  Many times I don’t even recognize I’m in a rut.  I’m just making it through the day. I’m uncomfortable, dissatisfied, disgusted with myself, depressed, frustrated – whatever and no energy to do anything about it.

I know I don’t want to continue feeling whatever I am feeling.  After all it is not fun.  So what to do? 

The first step is to figure out what I am feeling.  We are kind of like a working paint palate with all the colors on the palate and then different blends for the current experience.  We need to recognize the dominant color at this moment – the dominant feeling.

 Let’s say it’s anger.  I am pissed off at the world.  It doesn’t matter who says what or does what, it makes be angry and I spout off at them.  I need to be a little more definitive about my anger.  Where is the anger coming from?  Well maybe that is too much work and I don’t want to go there.  What are the characteristics of my anger?  Is the anger repressed? Is it just because I’m emotionally upset about a specific incident? Had it been around for a long time and isn’t even relevant to today?  Am I hypersensitive? Am I fearful of feeling anger? Does it usually come out in verbal abuse? 

The characteristic of the anger and the connection it has to the blend of feelings I am experiencing leads to the identification of a specific Flower Essence that can assist with the release of the anger.  It is a release from being stuck in the anger.  The anger can have an appropriate reference point and if I am not stuck in it then I will experience the anger, respond to the stimulus that initiated the anger (know what pissed me off) and can move on – make a conscious choice of how to respond to what sparked my anger. 

Flower Essences are subtle liquid extracts prepared from a sun infusion of flowers at their peak bloom in water.  They function from an energetic perspective versus a chemical perspective.  Generally they are taken in oral form.  They address issues of emotional well-being, soul development, and mind-body health. 

Flower Essences help dislodge the rubbish that is damning up the flow.  With the release of the rubbish, emotions can be experienced as a flow, moving on.  Thus, we are prepared for the next experience of the moment – joy, sadness, delight, sorrow, pleasure, anger, whatever it may be.  Bringing us to a point of balance and health.  It is a point, not a status, as life continues to move with a mirage of experiences and inputs.  We want to stay in motion to experience balance points more frequently.

Pick a Card, Any Card

The tarot is a collection of 78 pictures presented in the form of a deck of cards. It is divided into three sections: the Major Arcana, The Minor Arcana, and the Court Cards…. The tarot is a picture compilation of universal imagery and symbology. It is a collection of symbols that crosses all boundaries of culture, time and space. … Another factor about the tarot is that the Minor Arcana and Court Cards are basically the same as the modern deck of regular playing cards…. It is now generally accepted that both the tarot and playing cards, each in their own fashion, are representations of archetypes…. The Court cards are pictures of the sixteen different personality types (like the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator). …… from Tarot Dictionary and Compendium by Jana Riley

So pick a card ….As the person picking a card – a usual starting point is to pick a court card – King, Queen, Prince/Princess (Jack). This is a card to represent the individual – the point of view for the rest of the story – reading.

I picked the card for the significator – to represent me as I tell this story. There are many kinds of tarot decks and books. I have chosen the Mother Peace deck by Vicki Noble. The card I drew as I shuffled the Court Cards is Priestess (Queen) of Swords.

…..The Priestesses… represent administrative abilities, a sense of the sacred, and the authoritative presence of a Mother. In their own homes, mothers are Queens and Priestesses in their work. They rule from the heart. …..

The Priestess of Swords (Queen of Spades) represents the mind at work, a channeling of wisdom. Her familiar is the Snowy Owl. ……Representing the critical mind, she is at once detached and stern, reasonable, clear-headed. …She is now taking time out to think and reflect, to belong, to herself alone (a widow or separated woman). ……. She represents astrology and intuitive knowledge. On another level, she represents science – systemized knowledge……..The Priestess of Swords might be a writer; she is certainly a thinker. She channels thought, letting it flow through her like water or light. ……. The owl can be seen as her thought taking flight…… The nocturnal owl suggests the wisdom of the dream world and the collective unconscious……. The owl symbolized healing power as well as the ability to fight for one’s life when necessary……. The Priestess of Swords is an austere personality, uncompromising and somewhat formidable. She may represent a strict teacher or older woman role-model, a disciplinarian or authority figure of some kind. But ….. the pink color…. speaks of the subtle warmth of her heart, …. Distant from the emotions, she is not cut off but simply reserved….. release of ideas into form, the opening out of the mind from narrow interests to broader, more inclusive concerns. She has a quiet psychic sense that allows her to know the thoughts of everyone around her, even on a global level. Therefore she is able to imagine solutions to world problems…. From Mother Peace by Vicki Noble

A key is that we each have a part of all the personality types and archetypes within us. There are dominant types for each of us, just like being dominantly left or right handed.

As I reflect on this card – this synopsis of a personality type – what does it say about past and present actions, stories of me, and my life? Let’s take a look.

When I worked for Alternative Youth Adventures (an outdoor therapeutic program for teens) I would go into the field – hike in a few miles, change into a costume as a Swami or a Wizard and then enter the group. Needless to say with costume, the initial response by the teens was ‘who is that crazy old woman?’ I had there attention. They were focused on me. We would set in a circle and I would pass around the tarot deck and ask them to pick a card – either looking at the cards or pick one blindly – their choice. We used all 78 cards thus the dynamics represented were more than the personality types. It included the practical applications of the traits in the number cards and global characteristics of the Major Arcana. We looked at the cards from the question – ‘What role do you have in this group?’ First each youth described what they saw in the card, what they liked or disliked about the picture on the card. Then we read excerpts from the descriptions of the card by various authors. Next we discussed as a group how that matched what each individual saw about that particular youth. This created different insights, confirmations, questions, and made them think about their role and interactions with each other. The experience was lots of fun and very productive.

The Priestess/Queen of Swords represents healing – fighting for life as necessary. My story includes years as a counselor and a Jin Shin Acupressurist. I have helped many people with Pain Management. I teach individuals tools to use to manage their pain versus having the pain manage them. We looked at physical, emotional and spiritual healing. We identified what worked for them and set up a plan for them to implement to live their lives to the fullest even with pain, illness, or disability. We integrated allopathic and alternative medicine to create the best alternative for each individual. This meant understanding who each individual is and their dominant characteristics and needs. We matched their “card”.

Healing has been a key focus within my story. I organized and established the Academy of Healing Arts with a group of people. We collaborated on our expertise to make the school happen. It primarily had a program for massage therapist and then community classes in the healing arts. Also, I helped establish a Whole Life Network Healing Arts Health Fair. The purpose was to expand people’s awareness so that they could make choices for their lives.

A thinker – ideas flowing through my mind, is reflected in the card. I see problems, situations, and people and develop solutions, alternatives. The purpose is to develop individuals’ and groups’ potential.

I am a separated woman – having experienced a divorce – the loss of the family unit – alone. Yes, I have family, two children, 6 siblings (one gone, one unknown), mother and extended family, yet alone.

I experience many emotions daily. I express the emotions less frequently. In my pursuit of helping people – I remain detached, but caring. I need to give individuals tools and choices to allow them to make things happen in their own life.

Intuitive knowledge for me is part of the way I interact with people and keying into factors to increase their awareness. It is part of how I make decisions.

Science is the facts from searching the unknown. I pursued a micro-biology degree. I have the privilege of coaching several youth science teams – Invent America, Odyssey of the Mind, Science fairs, and studies of the research of the healing arts.

Science is the known that is defined. Magic is the mystery of the unknown that is only understood intuitively until the broadened knowledge becomes known.

Pick a card, any card. As we reflect on the card we have drawn and it’s characteristics we reflect on who we are, where we have been and who we can become. Picking a card from the tarot or a deck of playing cards is a process in intuitive thinking, self-exploration, a discovery and a development of self. And it is just plain fun playing scientist with the unknown being you!

Strut Your Stuff - The Basic Premise

STRUT YOUR STUFF; YOU ARE A GENIUS.

What is your Genius?
We are looking at the core of your potential and resources; the unique special quality that is you. Yes, we are looking at what makes you different. This includes: different intelligences (music, language, visual, body, logic, social, self, naturalist, and existential), talents, strengths, passions, abilities, desires and curiosity. We are looking at what you can do and who you are.

Why Bother?
Knowing yourself and expressing yourself is important part of your life’s journey – experiences. The unique gifts you have contribute to your development and to the world around you. Lie a snowflake you are a one time happening. To strut your stuff is a responsibility to you and the world.


YOU ARE A GENIUS AND DON’T KNOW IT!

Each of us is unique and special. We have things we can do well; things we are very interested in; things that have caught your attention; and things you dream of. These are all indicators of your genius.

Interest tests are a way to find a hint at your job interests. Looking back at things you really enjoyed as a child hint at what is special for you. People you admire, see as mentors or heroes also give you a clue of your genius.

Once you identify the various things that make up your genius then you can pursue them, develop them, and enjoy yourself.

Your genius is a key aspect of yourself to recognize, acknowledge, and utilize. The discovery is an inner journey. Your genes and inborn talents are a foundation. Your family, your community, your culture contribute to developing your genius. Expression of your genius is also related to timing, places, and experiences. Some of these just are, and some of theses you can effect.

Find your genius. Acknowledge your genius. Strut your stuff.


YOU’RE A GENIUS AND WON’T SHOW IT!

Being special make you different. We know we are different, but belonging is part o four human nature. Thus we want to minimize or hide our differences. We have gifts, talents, unique abilities that we enjoy. We can pursue out genius for personal expression or share with others.

To display our genius means we are exposed to praise, ridicule, rejection, or indifference. We like and respond to the praise and recognition. We shout for joy. We beam. We strut our stuff. The challenge is with even one time of ridicule or rejection we can decide to hide. The fear of experiencing the ridicule or rejection again can become very strong even after the initial situation. As a result we experience self doubt. We will also utilize various masks – some for strength – some for hiding. It is easy to hide behind a mask, in a role that is accepted. You can do it well, fit in, be recognized and still minimize your genius or avoid expressing your genius.

Other reasons for not expressing your genius is not wanting to be taken advantage of; the display of your genius is considered to be a personal express for self only; not being appreciated; not taken seriously; not knowing how; and demands of life.


WHAT DO YOU DO WITH YOUR GENIUS?

A beginning place of what to do with your genius is to enjoy it yourself, practice, develop, explore, and play. Another consideration is do you want to have a private or public use of your genius. Keep in mind your genius will sneak in all kinds of places on a daily basis without a deliberate plan – because it is a core part of you. Another factor is contribution to your community, to others ---- considering your genius comes with a responsibility.

Do you want to display/utilize your gift vocationally or avocationally? What ways can you put your various talent, preferences together to contribute in the manner you desire? We can look at different patterns of your life, what you enjoy, what your genius/talents are and then look at occupational and industry patterns to create your vocation. You can tap into the same process for an avocation or pure personal pleasure.


A GENIUS AT WORK AND PLAY!

It is an act of genius to balance all the responsibilities and roles in life. It is also a balancing act to comfortably use, display your genius at work or in play.

Your genius at work as a developed specialty can let you pursue it to your hearts content basically alone or with at team. You can have a focus that does not require balancing lots of roles or interactions.

Your various talents can create the opportunity where you are juggling many activities, tasks, roles and /or interactions. You can benefit from the development of personal management skills – managing your time; setting priorities; setting (with awareness) your preferences (yes, asking what you Want to do is important too); and managing expectations (yours and others).

Being sure to play is key to your balancing act. It may be with strutting your stuff at work -- that you are playing at work.

Having a light hearted free expression – experience of your genius is also important. Knowing how to play with your genius benefits you in all your life roles; having that opportunity as the saying goes “to let your hair hang down”. Playing for playing’s sake alone – to feel free – like soaring – no constraints. (PS It is not frivolous).

We look at our roles and responsibilities – the tasks and time involved for each. Then decide what priorities we have for our roles and which ones we desire to develop. Next we figure out the changes to our time commitments and activities to make the shift happen to our desired roles. Balancing the work, the play and being our special genius self!


A GENIUS ON DISPLAY!

Celebrating your genius can be done in many ways, many forms and many places. Your home or your room is your special place or your own space. Make the space your very own - art, books, music, collections, clothing, furniture, décor – the materials of your genius. The space can be indoors or outdoors.

You can celebrate through your work, your connection in the community, in your play, the places you visit, the things you make, write, create – an expression of your heart.

You can celebrate through discovering, exploring, further experiencing of your desires and wishes. Taking others along for the journey is another way to celebrate. Making a difference or quietly knowing are a celebration. Strut your Stuff. Celebrate!

Strut Your Stuff! You Are a Genius!

Play with Words…… Play with feelings…..

GENIUS – intelligent, intellect, smart, brainy, thinker, natural, brilliant, resourceful, talent, sage, savant, wise, knowledgeable, inventive, creative, sensible, logical, rational, skilled, trained, astute, brainiac, master, virtuoso, talent, bright, clever, scholarly

Then there are: smart aleck, too big for your britches, snooty, dense, ace, crackerjack, fool, clown, highbrow, egghead, show-off, wiseacre, know-it-all, hotshot, wise guy

Mixed messages – probably have happened over time. The mixed messages are ones you give yourself and that you receive from others. These messages, these words, create emotional responses – yeah, you react. The reactions are emotional and physical. You can feel on top of the world and comfortable. You can feel hurt and troubled. You can be pleased with the recognition and acknowledgement of your skills and abilities. You can want to hide, withdraw, and fit in. You get attention. You are avoided. You speak freely with enthusiasm. Your conversation is very tempered. You stand out and use your skills. You minimize your abilities. Or then there is the dynamic of being silly and you should be serious --- or is it lighten-up. The expectations and demands are made. Or you are ignored and not accepted. You can then question yourself, your value, your worth, your ability and become unsure. You strive to protect yourself – downplay your talents, your brilliance, or become arrogant.

Where is the balance? Where is the authentic you? Finding the right fit for you is an important part of showing your genius. Your world is not an ideal world. Your experiences will vary with time, place, people and you of the moment. Knowing your abilities, talents, gifts, desires, dreams is the starting point. Demonstrating and developing them, yes, that is a responsibility – to you – and to the world. Showing your genius is also a pleasure. Showing takes practice. Practice brings greater understanding, development, confidence, balance, and comfort. It is not a road without struggles or potholes. Any achievement has challenges and requires figuring out “how to” meet those challenges. And remember not to do it alone – that’s the village coming into the picture. Strut your stuff. You are a genius.

Strut Your Stuff! You are a Genius and Won't Show It (cont.)

Hiding your genius or the fear of being different………..

Why do we NOT show our genius, abilities, talents, passions………?

Many times we are judging ourselves. We are our hardest critique. We say things like we are not good enough, no one is interested in our stuff, we can’t compare to _____, and so forth and so on. That is not the response we get from others as we strut are stuff. There is a sense of respect, at times a sense of awe (like our internal critique everyone else is amazing), a response of excitement and pride (for those close to you), a sense of acknowledgement, and so forth.

Yet there are other gremlins that may arise – jealousy, fear, rejection. Wanting to belong, be accepted is a strong human driving factor. Strutting your stuff – shows you are different (as everyone is – but that does not matter at this moment) – you are standing out – being outstanding. This will attract and dispel people to you. “Owie – is that not a blank wall I can blend into?” “Hey, I am something, really something!” As we are scared we develop ways to minimize that fear – create different masks to wear, different roles to play – to be safe and not hurt (or as much). We can avoid the strutting; we can strut with an outlandish attitude (as not to be approachable); we can strut with honesty and confidence (an ongoing growth process); or…….

So what masks have you designed? When do you wear them? What purpose do they serve? What is your desired face in each of those situations? You can begin to answer these questions for yourself in different ways – here are two – try them and see what you uncover.

Take a stack of the cheap paper plates. On the top side (where you place food) name the mask (or describe the situation you use that mask). Label 3-5 (more if you want to – no limit). Now turn the masks over and draw, color (paint, magic marker) the mask you wear by that name or in that situation (this is not an art demonstration – so just do it!) Arrange all the masks in front of you – color side up. Do you recognize the masks? What are you feeling? Are they serving their purpose? (Just ask the questions – you do not have to have the answers.) Now take one more paper plate. Write on it in big letters – ME. Now turn it over and draw/color the mask – the face. When complete place it in the center of all the masks. What is your response? Strut Your Stuff!!

Take a piece of paper for each mask you wear (3-5 minimally, no upper limit). Label the mask – name the mask at the top of the page. Divide the page into four columns labeled – Situations (when do you use this mask?) ; Purpose (what does it do for me?) ; Characteristics (how do you describe this mask?) ; Insight (what does this tell me about me?) . Now take one more piece of paper and title it ME. Columns – Situations (how can I see myself strutting me?); Purpose (what does it do for me?); Characteristics (how do I and want to describe me?) ; Insight (what have I got going for me?).

Masks are part of our coping strategies. We need to be aware of them. Masks are used throughout the cultures of the world representing power, the unknown, strength. They are used in rituals and in entertainment. They allow us to take on and experience different characteristics. Recognize and be conscientious of how you use your masks. Use the masks to Strut Your Stuff – not to hide behind!!

Are You Special?

Well are you breathing? That is the first test. You will notice I did not ask – do you know how to breathe – that is a discussion for another time. Since you are breathing, YES, you are special. I know that is a cliché – you are special, you are unique. However, it is true. There are no duplicates of you – not even identical twins. We are made up of our genes, experiences, and environments. That includes who we are, what we think, what we do, how we feel. Then we add our family and friends, teachers, acquaintances, others with whom we interact, meet, and connect with (both in person and cyberspace). Yet another part of the mix is where – where we born, where we live, where we have visited, country, state, city, neighborhood. All of this contributes to who we are and that is a unique, one of kind recipe with special results. Don’t forget timing as a factor.

Looking at the pieces under a microscope (introspection) is fun for some and considered useless by others. You can take this inner journey and explore. It lets you see your world. Who knows what you may discover. Some of the things others see and know and yet there is a mystery – that which only you know. Discovering you can give you answers and/or create more questions. You find your differences and your similarities – to family, friends, culture and being human. Like the magic of a snowflake you are special, unique, an individual.

There are expectations and roles that are part of your life experience. You make choices involving these expectations and roles. Sometimes your dreams and wishes (application of your special-ness) can be ignored, buried, discounted because of the expectations and roles. You can also be using what is very special about you to fulfill the expectations and roles. If you are not using your special-ness the inner journey can open the closed doors again. Then the potential for finding out how to include your dreams and wishes in everyday life can be a reality. Creating, growing, developing anything takes effort. However, your special-ness is who you are and what you can give. Find it, know it, and share it.

The Way I Think is Different.

The way I think is different. No one understands.

My mind wanders – bouncing from one idea to another – one topic to another. I can see how many things can fit together that do not seem related. I can understand multiple perspectives and translate an idea so each person/entity can understand the idea from their perspective. I find some things very interesting and other things very boring. I need to take notes to stay focused, otherwise my mind wanders. I enjoy a challenge, a puzzle, a mystery, an adventure. I am game to try new things. I do not have to have the answers. I enjoy finding a spectrum of answers. I like to figure out things in the world. I like to figure out things in my mind.

I am aware of the different kinds of intelligences and learning styles. These help me to have a better understanding of different aspects of how my mind works. It still does not provide all the answers. Part of the key is each of us has a unique combination of the factors described. So, yes the way I think is unique just as I am. So I can describe that: I am strong in words. I can see things in graphs, maps, sequential. I learn by hearing, seeing, writing, and doing. Still the way the different facts, bits of information, experiences connect are unique to me.

I tried to explain how I was thinking. It did not compute with teachers or peers. At times it created a problem. Teachers thought I was being disruptive. They had a difficult time keeping me engaged. One solution was for me to start teaching math to the class in sixth grade. In high school I took the advanced classes – the challenge changing schools 3-4 times during high school – each time starting over with the teachers. With peers being accepted and rejected was a major issue. Not fitting in with my classmates – too smart, military dependent, too young, always new to the area. In college peer issues lessened – less issues around age and being “smart”.

At work the way I think is both an asset and a liability. As an asset – my interaction with my colleagues is a problem solver, a mentor, a leader. On the other hand, as a liability – always wanting to learn, new ideas and suggestions, frustration with clients and colleagues “not getting it”, and easily bored.

Part of the journey has been to learn to use this tool – my mind. Learn the different angles, cuts, processes, dynamics it has and how to apply them for the task at hand. Each attempt, each experiment, each trial, each experience brings new information and application. This journey expands my understanding of my uniqueness, my potential, my talents and gifts. Yes I understand better how I am special. Learning my mind has broadened my understanding of other’s minds and how they work. It has developed tools for better understanding and growing potential for me and others. A map has been created with many roads/paths from the various starting points to the destinations of choice.

Come take a journey – an adventure ----- understand your uniqueness in the way you think --- your potential and grow the potential.